User blog:Birdkiller/Coming Out Tips

Coming out is a very individual choice and process. You do not have to come out if you don't want to and you do not have to come out immediately if you're not ready. Coming out can also be very different based on identity. Coming out as gay comes with different challenges than coming out as trans. Some people may be more receptive to some identities rather than others, potentially out of ignorance. Since many people on this wiki are children, this will be targeted towards younger ages. If there's any questions you have or anything you'd like me to add, don't hesitate to leave a comment.

Safety
First, you should never come out if it is unsafe, such as if you'll be kicked out, cut off financially, abused, etc. If you have reason to believe your safety will be in jeopardy, you should wait to come out until you are out of an unsafe situation. If you don't know how people will react, try asking them about Pride Month, an LGBTQ+ friend or family member, news related to being LGBTQ+, point out a pride flag you see, etc. If their reaction is positive, that's a good sign. If you're coming out to somebody who already has an LGBTQ+ friend or family member, that could be a good indicator of their reaction, especially by talking to the LGBTQ+ person, and especially if you share the same identity.

Readiness
After you've judged it's safe, you should consider whether you truly want to come out. You never have to come out if you don't want to, and you do not have to come out before you're ready. Coming out can be very anxiety-provoking. You might choose to manage some of this anxiety first before coming out or wait until you're surer of your identity. There are many reasons why you might not be ready. If you are truly not ready, it is okay to wait. If you are ready, you might be more ready to come out to some people than others. Some people also simply do not want to come out or don't feel the need. For example, someone who's gay may wait to come out until they have a romantic partner they need to introduce to their parents, or maybe someone who was AMAB, is non-binary, and uses he/him pronouns feels no need to come out to their employer, as their pronouns and name aren't changing. You never have to come out if you don't want to and you don't have to come out before you're ready.

Order
Some people find coming out to friends easier than family, especially children who are still living with their parents or guardians. Others may find family easier, or specifically siblings. Some may come out to a trusted adult first. Some people find it helpful to come out to people they know will be supportive first, as they can lean on them later if another coming out goes poorly. Others may find it easiest to come out to everybody at the same time for various reasons. One of those may be that they don't want friends using different pronouns than their parents, potentially outing them if they talked to each other.

Method
Some people choose to come in person. Others come out over a phone call, zoom, text, or even write a letter. Some people even send coming out songs or even memes. Some people you come out to may prefer to be told in person over text, or sometimes vice versa. Method can impact response occasionally. Some people find coming out over text, letter, or phone call easier, while others prefer to come out in person as it can be seen as more personal. You can choose whatever method you like based on your personal comfort.

Timing
Coming out at the right time and place can be important. Coming out to someone who's angry at you or in a bad mood can lead to a worse response. Some people may feel more comfortable in a public place, while others might prefer privacy. Coming out to somebody before you have to spend a lot of time with them may not be a good idea if coming out does not go well. For example, you might choose to wait until after a family vacation or holiday to come out to your parents.

Self-care
Responses to coming out can be rough. After you do so, it's important to take care of yourself, even if your coming out went well. It can be a very stressful process. Plan to do something nice for yourself after coming out, such as taking a nice bath, getting your nails done, or hanging out with a trusted friend.